Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
For what it is worth, this week has gone fast, and tomorrow is Friday!!!
Thank You GOD
Practicing some form of detachment as of late, or maybe not practicing, it's just happening.
I am not sure of my place, or what the future holds, and where I used to wonder about these things, right now, I just do not care, and I don't think that this is bad.
I spent years of my life analyzing, trying to make it all line up, now, I am just indifferent- It's a different state of mind to occupy, at least for me it is. There are the worries the thoughts that will travel through my head, and now I am just pushing them out.
I seem to like talking to people more that I never really spoke to before, and wanting less to speak with people I usually speak to...I don't know what that is all about.
It seems that there is alot of emptiness that I am seeing, people whose lives revolve around their television programming schedule, it's just that I am starting to see how empty it all is, like where is the quality of life? Or, is this it, is quality of life what I watch on tv, so that I can stand around and discuss it all day long?
I just think lately that alot of what we do or think or believe is only designed to make us feel important on the surface...Let me rethink that statement, as it didn't come out quite right.
Rather I should say, is this all there is? Isn't life an opportunity, a fleeting one I know, but, isn't it our chance to make our mark? Are we supposed to be work horses? Come home spent, eat, and veg out in front of the tv until bedtime, IS THAT ALL THERE IS???
I come home beat, for a meager wage, a home that I only want to make better, a craving for something more, something that nourishes my soul, restores my energy, and brings me to the best possible place, I want a better life,, and I get frustrated that The people I talk to live on one level, and I have to walk that line, never let my true self shine, as it would all be lost on them , so I have to keep my beliefs and ideas to myself, I can't even be free on facebook, cos there are too many coworkers there, so I have to censor myself. This is the only place I can go to say what is in my heart and on my mind in one way or another.
I just really want a better life, better friends, better home,better better better job, like the kind that I could do from the comfort of my own home, where I don't have to talk to anybody, or get dressed unless I feel like it, and still get a paycheck every week, at least, maybe more, where I will never worry about money or comfort again, and on top of that, I am happy, like, all the garbage and the stress is gone, and I am just genuinely happy, at peace and satisfied with all areas of my life. I believe in change, I believe it is a part of life, I think stagnancy sucks, and I am alarmed by how much is around me, and that it threatens to suck me in, and I WONT ALLOW IT!!!
I have lived this long, and kept going, and I am going to keep pushing ahead, because, I won't allow myself to curl up and cop out, it is just not happening.
I get joy in the little things, the girls ( floof and Shash) greeting me at the door when I get home, petting and squeezing them until I get some purrs, flopping down in my chair, knowing that the day is done, at least the part of the day that wasn't mine to begin with, that is a great feeling, I must say.
I am ready to start moving up, to have more, to feel better, and harness my enthusiasm, and like all good things, all necessary changes, when do I start, NOW! How, however, just trust the flow and roll with it.
Thank You God, Amen, Sleep Well, NAMASTE
