Create A Rewarding Life.
FAITH KNOWS!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday 82809 10:13 a.m.
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
Woke up this morning after passing out on the uncomfortable couch last night, somehow stayed there all night. I awake from that post and wonder how I made it through the night. Somehow, on top of that, I managed to sleep through the whole night, waking at around 9 a.m. ish. Made some coffee, which somehow, brewed all over the counter top, turned out the pot wasn't all the way on the burner, so I cleaned that up, and noticed that the coffee leak shorted the coffee maker clock out, so that the numbers just kept rolling. So, another clock in my house has bitten the dust. That would be three in the last couple weeks. Go figure that after that, the coffee tasted pretty good, the last few pots have been too strong, this one turned out just right.
The weather feels cooler today, slept last night without a fan. You can feel Fall trying to creep into the air.
It is rather disheartening, I like Fall and all that, just, why does summer always seem to want to go so fast?
I have big plans today, I know that I am going to the laundromat, trying to do some power washing, sheets, towels, some clothes that have been buried in my closet for a while, it is time to begin getting these things done.
I have the tv going, and I realize that I am not missing much of anything. Had some weird dreams last night, which I will directly attribute to the 3 Beers I had before bed, the ones that knocked me out. Feeling pretty blue today, maybe not as bad as yesterday, I don't even know why I am letting this stuff bother me anymore, It has taken up years of my life, and it is just tiring. What am I talking about, you may wonder. All I can say is that this pertains directly to an interpersonal relationship that I have been dragging through for the last 7 years. Up and down, in and out, long weary...The love is gone, or has it just changed. I don't know. He stiffed me yesterday, just blew me off, never heard from him, and I can't clarify the way that I feel about that. It has happened before, not much lately, but, it has happened. It used to drive me nuts, I would wonder where he was, who he was with, what he was doing, and it would wreck me.
Again last night, I started to feel these things, not as intensely, but, they still got under my skin.
And when it happened I find myself wondering...why? I don't have the same kind of attraction to him anymore. The years of him treating me like crap added up and took their toll, to the point where I didn't really feel an intimate pull towards him, except for occasionally.
He has stated his love and apologies repeatedly, and I know that I should forgive, and I am trying...It's like he took the best part of me, and I still do not feel whole, and it is a real hindrance. Not to mention that there were once a few good friends in my life, and through the drama of this relationship they fell away, so when he is absent, I have no other outlets.
I have reconnected with a few familiar faces through Face book, however,I am not physically hanging out with any of these people yet. So, it seems that when I plan on seeing him, and then I don't, I feel off, a bit lost, and I'm not sure why, because what would we do together that is so spectacular?
I guess that I have just gotten used to having him around, knowing that he is in my life, some days he really is like my best friend, other days he has a very short attention span, and I can't carry on a decent conversation with him to save my life. I don't know, I wish I did, I wish I had some clarity. This is something that likely, should have ended years ago, and I am trying to come to terms with the idea of releasing him from my life entirely. Maybe, I am afraid that If I let him go, he will find someone else and be the great boyfriend that he could not be to me, that he has been trying to be to me, and I have not been receptive. I know it's wrong, why can't I just let go? Why does this still matter to me, even though maybe it does not matter in the same way?
Am I scared to start over, to make new friends, find a new love and make my life better? Is it really that daunting? What happened to me?
I love him, and I hate him, I miss him, and I wish he were here... I just don't know, and that is what I have to figure out, that is what I have to come to terms with in the here and now. Love him or leave him, no more victim.
Woke up this morning after passing out on the uncomfortable couch last night, somehow stayed there all night. I awake from that post and wonder how I made it through the night. Somehow, on top of that, I managed to sleep through the whole night, waking at around 9 a.m. ish. Made some coffee, which somehow, brewed all over the counter top, turned out the pot wasn't all the way on the burner, so I cleaned that up, and noticed that the coffee leak shorted the coffee maker clock out, so that the numbers just kept rolling. So, another clock in my house has bitten the dust. That would be three in the last couple weeks. Go figure that after that, the coffee tasted pretty good, the last few pots have been too strong, this one turned out just right.
The weather feels cooler today, slept last night without a fan. You can feel Fall trying to creep into the air.
It is rather disheartening, I like Fall and all that, just, why does summer always seem to want to go so fast?
I have big plans today, I know that I am going to the laundromat, trying to do some power washing, sheets, towels, some clothes that have been buried in my closet for a while, it is time to begin getting these things done.
I have the tv going, and I realize that I am not missing much of anything. Had some weird dreams last night, which I will directly attribute to the 3 Beers I had before bed, the ones that knocked me out. Feeling pretty blue today, maybe not as bad as yesterday, I don't even know why I am letting this stuff bother me anymore, It has taken up years of my life, and it is just tiring. What am I talking about, you may wonder. All I can say is that this pertains directly to an interpersonal relationship that I have been dragging through for the last 7 years. Up and down, in and out, long weary...The love is gone, or has it just changed. I don't know. He stiffed me yesterday, just blew me off, never heard from him, and I can't clarify the way that I feel about that. It has happened before, not much lately, but, it has happened. It used to drive me nuts, I would wonder where he was, who he was with, what he was doing, and it would wreck me.
Again last night, I started to feel these things, not as intensely, but, they still got under my skin.
And when it happened I find myself wondering...why? I don't have the same kind of attraction to him anymore. The years of him treating me like crap added up and took their toll, to the point where I didn't really feel an intimate pull towards him, except for occasionally.
He has stated his love and apologies repeatedly, and I know that I should forgive, and I am trying...It's like he took the best part of me, and I still do not feel whole, and it is a real hindrance. Not to mention that there were once a few good friends in my life, and through the drama of this relationship they fell away, so when he is absent, I have no other outlets.
I have reconnected with a few familiar faces through Face book, however,I am not physically hanging out with any of these people yet. So, it seems that when I plan on seeing him, and then I don't, I feel off, a bit lost, and I'm not sure why, because what would we do together that is so spectacular?
I guess that I have just gotten used to having him around, knowing that he is in my life, some days he really is like my best friend, other days he has a very short attention span, and I can't carry on a decent conversation with him to save my life. I don't know, I wish I did, I wish I had some clarity. This is something that likely, should have ended years ago, and I am trying to come to terms with the idea of releasing him from my life entirely. Maybe, I am afraid that If I let him go, he will find someone else and be the great boyfriend that he could not be to me, that he has been trying to be to me, and I have not been receptive. I know it's wrong, why can't I just let go? Why does this still matter to me, even though maybe it does not matter in the same way?
Am I scared to start over, to make new friends, find a new love and make my life better? Is it really that daunting? What happened to me?
I love him, and I hate him, I miss him, and I wish he were here... I just don't know, and that is what I have to figure out, that is what I have to come to terms with in the here and now. Love him or leave him, no more victim.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
God, And All That He Is...82609
Are we not supposed to live in the moment?
Me, I seem to hold my breath all the time.
Here I am doing it now.
How do I alleviate this anxiety, this degree of tension, how do I release it from my body, is it as easy to let go as we are led to believe...How do I give up my burden? I have been carrying it for so long, I hate it, and resent it, How can I release it?
I know that I should forgive, how to do it, I try, and I can still feel the anger, He is still in my life, and I hate him for all the rotten stuff that he did to me, and I let him...It's been so hard to let that go, Why?
Me, I seem to hold my breath all the time.
Here I am doing it now.
How do I alleviate this anxiety, this degree of tension, how do I release it from my body, is it as easy to let go as we are led to believe...How do I give up my burden? I have been carrying it for so long, I hate it, and resent it, How can I release it?
I know that I should forgive, how to do it, I try, and I can still feel the anger, He is still in my life, and I hate him for all the rotten stuff that he did to me, and I let him...It's been so hard to let that go, Why?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday Night
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
Hello Again. The computer and the tv have both contributed to my brain drain over the last day or two, and I have not written. Well, to make up for it:
So, a little on what is happening in the world. They have released the caused of MJ's death, a homicide...How much money are the Jackson's paying to make that the story? The #1 conspiracy theory I have heard on this is the concert promoters. They got paid because he died the way that he did, and I wouldn't doubt if they were in on it.
Enough junk, it rots the brain and makes us weak, indecent people.
I am working another short week, Yeah Friday off! As well as next week: Long weekend, the unofficial end of the summer waaaahhhhhhhh!
Let's not think about what happens in glorious Buffalo, NY when the summer passes...
I'm one cigarette away from a shower, and Bed, so I Intend to keep it brief.
The other day I woke up thinking about that movie with Rosanna Arquette and Vincent Spano. Wow, Spano was hot, it's been years since I've seen that movie, and now, I just really want to see it again. Of course, Hulu doesn't have it, nobody does.
My phone is ringing right now, and I am just gonna let it go, VM will pick up, yeah, after 7 rings, have to figure out if their is a way to change that. People don't usually wait that long anymore, 4-5 rings, they give up. When I was a kid, you had to wait at least 8 rings, no machines, VM had not yet been invented, people were usually running across the house to get to the phone...remember rotary dialing. Ahhh the good old days, when life was simple, and drab, not all this info. at our fingertips.
I went to bed by 10:00 last night for the first time in weeks, probably over a month, I really needed the sleep.
Now, I'm sitting here drinking my fruity Michelob that won't be available after Labor day, cos' it's a summer beer, and I know that I won't last long tonight, and I believe that is a good thing.
New insights, trying to be better, and realizing how fake people can be, actually like smelling it.
Too much fallacy all over the place, and it makes me really want to be the best person I can be, with god's help, so it shall be.
Well my cigarette is up, and so am I , I'll catch you on another night when I have some ground breaking insight to share. Peace, Love and AMEN!
Hello Again. The computer and the tv have both contributed to my brain drain over the last day or two, and I have not written. Well, to make up for it:
So, a little on what is happening in the world. They have released the caused of MJ's death, a homicide...How much money are the Jackson's paying to make that the story? The #1 conspiracy theory I have heard on this is the concert promoters. They got paid because he died the way that he did, and I wouldn't doubt if they were in on it.
Enough junk, it rots the brain and makes us weak, indecent people.
I am working another short week, Yeah Friday off! As well as next week: Long weekend, the unofficial end of the summer waaaahhhhhhhh!
Let's not think about what happens in glorious Buffalo, NY when the summer passes...
I'm one cigarette away from a shower, and Bed, so I Intend to keep it brief.
The other day I woke up thinking about that movie with Rosanna Arquette and Vincent Spano. Wow, Spano was hot, it's been years since I've seen that movie, and now, I just really want to see it again. Of course, Hulu doesn't have it, nobody does.
My phone is ringing right now, and I am just gonna let it go, VM will pick up, yeah, after 7 rings, have to figure out if their is a way to change that. People don't usually wait that long anymore, 4-5 rings, they give up. When I was a kid, you had to wait at least 8 rings, no machines, VM had not yet been invented, people were usually running across the house to get to the phone...remember rotary dialing. Ahhh the good old days, when life was simple, and drab, not all this info. at our fingertips.
I went to bed by 10:00 last night for the first time in weeks, probably over a month, I really needed the sleep.
Now, I'm sitting here drinking my fruity Michelob that won't be available after Labor day, cos' it's a summer beer, and I know that I won't last long tonight, and I believe that is a good thing.
New insights, trying to be better, and realizing how fake people can be, actually like smelling it.
Too much fallacy all over the place, and it makes me really want to be the best person I can be, with god's help, so it shall be.
Well my cigarette is up, and so am I , I'll catch you on another night when I have some ground breaking insight to share. Peace, Love and AMEN!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sunday Night, Again. 9:45 P.M.
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
I could not just retreat to my awesome Buddhist Chant Relaxation vid without dropping a few words here. It's been an extra long weekend, all that I really know, is that I would love to be rich, and just be able to do whatever I wanted all the time. I would be sprawled across a gorgeous beach in Maui or Hawaii right now, writing this, ahhh to truly live the dream. At this moment I am trying to decide whether or or not to cook some Ramen noodles before I retreat to go to bed. I always am troubled by Sunday's, you know that they are the end of the weekend and they seem to blur by so fast. God, to never have to Suffer that Sunday night feeling again, to have everyday be as ripe and full of possibility as a gorgeous, fresh coffee, and fresh cut lawn fragrance wafting through the air. Saturday is the best day, second only to Friday night. The beginning of fun. My thing is that I have to learn to embrace the Sundays and The Mondays of my life, where they are all of equal value. Where they all feel so good.
I think that my weekend was fuller then I have given it credit for, at the same time, one that provided little sense of accomplishment, and I think that is always the rub.
I saw John for awhile, and he was really wiped from his night out with his sister, and rapidly deteriorated before my eyes, so before 8:30, he was outta here...
I really hope to accomplish something here, when and if I clearly determine what that is. In the meantime, I choose to go to sleep, Thank God, and seek a glorious rest that will spring me energetically into a glorious day tomorrow, and I'm sure that the day will bring insight and awareness of some sort, that I will carry here, to this forum, to this table, so that I may at last, somehow know, my purpose. Goodnight, sleep tight...
I could not just retreat to my awesome Buddhist Chant Relaxation vid without dropping a few words here. It's been an extra long weekend, all that I really know, is that I would love to be rich, and just be able to do whatever I wanted all the time. I would be sprawled across a gorgeous beach in Maui or Hawaii right now, writing this, ahhh to truly live the dream. At this moment I am trying to decide whether or or not to cook some Ramen noodles before I retreat to go to bed. I always am troubled by Sunday's, you know that they are the end of the weekend and they seem to blur by so fast. God, to never have to Suffer that Sunday night feeling again, to have everyday be as ripe and full of possibility as a gorgeous, fresh coffee, and fresh cut lawn fragrance wafting through the air. Saturday is the best day, second only to Friday night. The beginning of fun. My thing is that I have to learn to embrace the Sundays and The Mondays of my life, where they are all of equal value. Where they all feel so good.
I think that my weekend was fuller then I have given it credit for, at the same time, one that provided little sense of accomplishment, and I think that is always the rub.
I saw John for awhile, and he was really wiped from his night out with his sister, and rapidly deteriorated before my eyes, so before 8:30, he was outta here...
I really hope to accomplish something here, when and if I clearly determine what that is. In the meantime, I choose to go to sleep, Thank God, and seek a glorious rest that will spring me energetically into a glorious day tomorrow, and I'm sure that the day will bring insight and awareness of some sort, that I will carry here, to this forum, to this table, so that I may at last, somehow know, my purpose. Goodnight, sleep tight...
Sunday Morning, After The Sleep 11:32 A.M.
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
Good day, woke to cats giving me feed me eyes, so, I had to oblige. Made a few messy abstracts on my paint program, amateur hour for sure, and just to prove how I feel, I stuck them in an album on FB...and there they are, for all the people I know to see.
Found this amazing Buddhist chant/ meditation video on you tube last night, which lulled me into a peaceful sleep. Ahhh, the colors, the sounds.
Picked up my Gandhi book that my sister gifted me with at Christmas, and there were a few points he made that I feel it necessary to include in this writing.
They are: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
Fair means alone can produce fair results
A Man is but a product of his thoughts, what he thinks he becomes.
I believe Gandhi was Hindu, however, I will have to read more to clarify, and the thoughts statement is Buddhist. I think Hindu has some roots In Buddhism, however I am still
learning, so don't quote me on that.
I had a GOD Related thought last night, tying into this bible quote, can't reference it, however, you know it when you see it: I am the Lord Thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me.
This is taken so literally every day, and if you really see the meaning, it is this.
There is a Divine Power that guides us all, we all to some degree seek awareness, some kind of faith system that keeps us on the right track, that helps us stay good. GOD Is the drive behind the variety of beliefs, God is in Buddhism, and Hinduism and all different belief systems, just with a different face, god is the force, the energy, so, he is everywhere, in what you choose to believe. However, the other god's are the gods that man worships...And what is the biggest god that man worships you may wonder...
$$$$$Money. The biggest false god that there is...$$$$$
The great material things that you amass in this life, all acquired through $, cannot travel into the kingdom of God as they say, however, we believe that the more we have, the better we are.
Can you buy Faith?
If you could, would we not all own it?
The truth is that for every person on the planet, there is a different belief system at work. Is it our duty to judge and/ or to convert?
Just something to pause and think about.
Good day, woke to cats giving me feed me eyes, so, I had to oblige. Made a few messy abstracts on my paint program, amateur hour for sure, and just to prove how I feel, I stuck them in an album on FB...and there they are, for all the people I know to see.
Found this amazing Buddhist chant/ meditation video on you tube last night, which lulled me into a peaceful sleep. Ahhh, the colors, the sounds.
Picked up my Gandhi book that my sister gifted me with at Christmas, and there were a few points he made that I feel it necessary to include in this writing.
They are: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
Fair means alone can produce fair results
A Man is but a product of his thoughts, what he thinks he becomes.
I believe Gandhi was Hindu, however, I will have to read more to clarify, and the thoughts statement is Buddhist. I think Hindu has some roots In Buddhism, however I am still
learning, so don't quote me on that.
I had a GOD Related thought last night, tying into this bible quote, can't reference it, however, you know it when you see it: I am the Lord Thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me.
This is taken so literally every day, and if you really see the meaning, it is this.
There is a Divine Power that guides us all, we all to some degree seek awareness, some kind of faith system that keeps us on the right track, that helps us stay good. GOD Is the drive behind the variety of beliefs, God is in Buddhism, and Hinduism and all different belief systems, just with a different face, god is the force, the energy, so, he is everywhere, in what you choose to believe. However, the other god's are the gods that man worships...And what is the biggest god that man worships you may wonder...
$$$$$Money. The biggest false god that there is...$$$$$
The great material things that you amass in this life, all acquired through $, cannot travel into the kingdom of God as they say, however, we believe that the more we have, the better we are.
Can you buy Faith?
If you could, would we not all own it?
The truth is that for every person on the planet, there is a different belief system at work. Is it our duty to judge and/ or to convert?
Just something to pause and think about.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Saturday Night Update 1:15 A.M.
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
So, If you want to get technical, it is now Sunday morning, however, I won't call it Sunday until I wake from My Saturday night sleep.
Just an update, I did wash my floors, painted a few abstract paintings on my laptop, futzed with FB a little, not much though. And pretty much burned a few hours cruising the web.
All in all, a very unproductive day.
I'm losing my will to type and think any major thoughts of anything right now, other then to say...
Sleep well, don't sweat life, take it all in stride, and remember you win by faith what you would never win by force. That reminds us not to push anything into happening, just to set back, and trust whatever guidance you are being given is accurate, and to not push against d=situations trying to make them what you want them to be, and trust that they are, at this moment, what they need to be. That is, unless you are a couch potato, then that should not be taken literally, I say to the taters, get up and do SOMETHING!!!
So, If you want to get technical, it is now Sunday morning, however, I won't call it Sunday until I wake from My Saturday night sleep.
Just an update, I did wash my floors, painted a few abstract paintings on my laptop, futzed with FB a little, not much though. And pretty much burned a few hours cruising the web.
All in all, a very unproductive day.
I'm losing my will to type and think any major thoughts of anything right now, other then to say...
Sleep well, don't sweat life, take it all in stride, and remember you win by faith what you would never win by force. That reminds us not to push anything into happening, just to set back, and trust whatever guidance you are being given is accurate, and to not push against d=situations trying to make them what you want them to be, and trust that they are, at this moment, what they need to be. That is, unless you are a couch potato, then that should not be taken literally, I say to the taters, get up and do SOMETHING!!!
Saturday Night
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
Well, I have my page up and running once more. No evening plans, just very indecisive. The best part of the day was spending some time with my brother, playing with the computer, he went to the res with me and then we stopped at old man rivers, where we each had an overpriced blue, and split sweet potato fries which we actually dipped in an awesome hot sauce. The day was a lot more comfortable then it has been in the last couple weeks. The heat has been oppressive, and everyone seemed on the brink of strangling one another...aaahhhh summer, gotta love it, the best and the worst of times.
I have currently filled a bucket with Pine sol, ready to clean the floors, just a little freshening up. I really kind of just puttered through the day, and now I'm starting to think of all the things that I will HAVE To do, come some time tomorrow, like that stuff called laundry, always a Sunday bummer. I'm a little emotional right now, and I cannot say why, on the grounds that I may incriminate myself, other then to say, it's something that happens every month...need I say more. So, I'm kinda up and down. Should I clean, should I buy beer, should I make something to eat? All of these are very difficult questions right now, and I guess the only answer is to do what I am doing, and figure out the rest after I complete this - Right now.
On a plus side, I am burning some Surya Sandalwood Supreme, my all time fave incense to date, burning a nice candle, and trying to figure if I have a full blown headache coming on, or if it just my brain trying to get my attention.
I was watching a little you tube today just for a change, cos' I was talking to a friend of mine about how long it took to spray and tease my hair back in 90-92 era. Because, I was thinking that when I got a camera I would attempt to reenact, but would I even remember? So anyway, I look on you tube to see, and of course, it's been done. The only thing I noticed that I wanted to mention was that the girls started with teased hair and just teased it more, and they all seemed to have long bottom extensions that remained untouched throughout the segment. They all did it in about 3-5 minutes, and I must say it wasn't all that riveting.
I was thinking the way to do this is: You have to start with wet hair, and start building your product base, then it's gotta dry, and then rollers, and spray and tease and spray and probably mess it up somewhere and have to wet it and then dry that part again, and spray and tease more. This would be like a 3 hour mini epic, building the hair. I kid you not, I cancelled a couple dates with my boyfriend at the time because my hair wouldn't go right. Not to mention that was when my brothers used to call me Tama Janowitz ( author of NY Stories) and when my one brother was being douchey he used to say I looked like David Johannsen ( NY Dolls, aka Buster Poindexter) Good Times...
I'm actually a little frustrated over the way this indecisiveness is just hanging over me. Like, I am not cut out for much of anything tonight, and it is rather disappointing, as I feel as though I should be putting the night to good use, and am just missing the drive that could make it happen.
I have cupboards to clean out, laundry to sort, and I'm sure there are other things I could do, so what I need to figure out, is what next???
What I See Day 1, April 22,2009
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
This is my first time doing this. I have just created this blog, right here and now, so, be patient with me as it all begins to take shape. What I see, is just that, a series of observations- work, life, the world at large. It should all start to gel after a while I'm guessing. My big thing right now is that I am trying to teach myself acrylic painting- on canvas, of course, I can't properly mix the colors to save my life, so everything I'm painting eventually turns to a muddy green/ brown. I really would like some teal, bold yellows, gold shimmers, and I'm mixing mud. I'm hoping to work through that. Otherwise, at present, I am at work, and should really focus on that for the time being. Will touch base again later.
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Sunday, August 9, 2009
August 9, 2009 Sunday
Create A Rewarding Life. FAITH KNOWS!
So, even though we do not speak anymore, Happy Birthday, as I will always remember your Birthday since it is 2 weeks from the day of mine...so, we are the same age still, even if your my space says differently.
Anyway, I have not written since June, my mom's birthday, and now mine has come and gone. My brother from New York is back in town, and we are getting along really well, when we catch up.
I have been doing the bulk of my writing in a different program, and I am just smashing as much of everything that I can get on there, when the mood arrives, I write- not quite so diligent on my blog, i promise though, that I intend to do better. And, that is the beginning of everything, it all starts with INTENTION.
I have been cruising the wonderful world of the internet, and trying very hard to stay away from the brain drain stuff that can be all consuming- you know, the stuff that is like what they show you on the television around the clock. I have been seeking meditation music,hypnosis, Jerry and Esther, I just looked up Ram Dass the other night, because we must all remember that it is necessary to BE HERE NOW, and he is hosting a retreat on the beautiful island of Maui in December, wish I could go on a beach retreat in Maui, a little too rich for my blood, right now, I could however intend to do A beach retreat in Maui next year, and if I really wanted it, and intended it with all my being, so, IT WOULD BE. The power of intention is pretty amazing stuff, I must say.
So here in the sunshine capital of the world ( hahahahaha) Good ole' Buffalo, NY, It is STICKY And the rain is coming down- just for a change , this rain is different though...It's a sunday afternoon, and there is something so soothing about it, like, I am housebound right now, sweepin' my floors, fillin my bucket with Pine Sol delighting in the smell of clean, and between answering the phone, when it rings, and jotting my wisdom down on this page intermittently,,,hoping some quarters miraculously come my way so that I might actually wash a load of clothes today, just like I said I would. I know that with all these things, at the moment, all is right in my world, and I like that, and I think, that this is a really good thing.
So, even though we do not speak anymore, Happy Birthday, as I will always remember your Birthday since it is 2 weeks from the day of mine...so, we are the same age still, even if your my space says differently.
Anyway, I have not written since June, my mom's birthday, and now mine has come and gone. My brother from New York is back in town, and we are getting along really well, when we catch up.
I have been doing the bulk of my writing in a different program, and I am just smashing as much of everything that I can get on there, when the mood arrives, I write- not quite so diligent on my blog, i promise though, that I intend to do better. And, that is the beginning of everything, it all starts with INTENTION.
I have been cruising the wonderful world of the internet, and trying very hard to stay away from the brain drain stuff that can be all consuming- you know, the stuff that is like what they show you on the television around the clock. I have been seeking meditation music,hypnosis, Jerry and Esther, I just looked up Ram Dass the other night, because we must all remember that it is necessary to BE HERE NOW, and he is hosting a retreat on the beautiful island of Maui in December, wish I could go on a beach retreat in Maui, a little too rich for my blood, right now, I could however intend to do A beach retreat in Maui next year, and if I really wanted it, and intended it with all my being, so, IT WOULD BE. The power of intention is pretty amazing stuff, I must say.
So here in the sunshine capital of the world ( hahahahaha) Good ole' Buffalo, NY, It is STICKY And the rain is coming down- just for a change , this rain is different though...It's a sunday afternoon, and there is something so soothing about it, like, I am housebound right now, sweepin' my floors, fillin my bucket with Pine Sol delighting in the smell of clean, and between answering the phone, when it rings, and jotting my wisdom down on this page intermittently,,,hoping some quarters miraculously come my way so that I might actually wash a load of clothes today, just like I said I would. I know that with all these things, at the moment, all is right in my world, and I like that, and I think, that this is a really good thing.
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